Hubris, Humility, and Honesty

Hubris, Humility, and Honesty

Samuel Bird

I want to do no less than to change the world. By this, I mean that I want to build a new conceptual framework for people at large to live under. I do not wish to do this through legislation, but by starting and sharing ideas that trickle through all of philosophy, the higher arts, the more basic entertainments, social entities like religions, and political parties, until finally, each person has access to Esse Maxim. I would love for people to respond to the dilemma of their existence as well as all their more subjective problems, with the tools I can provide. Seeing philosophy as a journey over time, I see it as being in a dead end. Outside of an interesting practice being missed out on, people do not have access to vital ideological resources. In my time, there is a study of the world as it is, and a study of what we are as organisms, but the questions of deeper facts of these two are not asked. Much more detrimental is the lack of questioning about how they relate. The physicist can tell me facts that are currently consistent between their model and their findings. The psychologist can give me subjective comfort in who I am. But, where is this place that I study how to engage with the world around me? What school teaches me to guide my construction of meaning from what I experience? What institution relates the world to me? This disconnection breeds suffering. This is not the natural and developmental suffering, but rather the synthesized and destructive type. With no necessary answer of what is worth living for, people are then told there is none, rather than to hear there are possible answers. I see the world as being desperately in need. Not a savior for the soul, a deliverer from the political, or a designer of some chemical elixir. What is needed is this conceptual framework. And, who do I think should do this? Anyone that can, but since no one is doing it, then I guess it must be me. 

No doubt, this is a large claim. The character associated with this claim would implicitly need to be of a certain value for this to be a reasonable objective. It would then be clear that in my stating this, I have a high estimation of my own value. This high estimation of oneself can be much more problematic and messy than what is first evident. In every Greek tragedy that I have read, Hubris plays a role in the downfall of the hero. The cathartic and sad story has the protagonist estimate their general value too high. In doing so, they cut themselves off from the input of others and facts of the world. Rather than heed the tidings of an oracle or the will of the gods, they somehow assume they can know better and alter the world around them. This pride ends up being their downfall. Greece was not alone in seeing this as many myths saw the same flaw. Pride was placed as one of the most destructive sins in the Judeo-Christian framework. If something shows up as a vital lesson repeatedly in ancient societies, I think we dismiss it with great hubris ourselves. If this high estimation can remove us from needed resources and damage relationships, then we simply do the contrary, right?

In The Antichrist, Nietzsche doesn’t criticize Christ, but how Christianity happens to be. His most damming critique is that it abases people. Rather than have a sense of vigor, they humble themselves and in doing so miss out on much of what the existence has to offer. This no to life was the closest he found to a sin. In my experience with labor and money, I have seen many case studies of people estimating their general value. I have seen people who work hard, communicate well, and take initiative, who make very little for what they do. When I ask why, I tend to find that, in the marketplace of labor, they undersell themselves. I have found these same types of characters to pick marriages they are not happy in, miss out on great actions and adventures they wanted, and even not have enough to invest in the greatest resource they had; themselves. If one were to make pride a sin for its own sake and not for what it does, perhaps these people would do well. However, they fail to engage with their existence. Greatness was left on the shelf dusty and unused. On their deathbed, I can’t imagine they had much better of a case for their lives being worth living than the prideful person. Do we then be prideful and take the delusion that comes with getting more resources? Perhaps the golden mean applies here and we estimate ourselves as average? We then would miss out on ourselves reaching for magnanimity and once again fail to live deliberately. 

When I was a young teenage man, the lack of running water and working in the fields left me with terrible acne. My father gave me the nickname “pizzaface” to describe what I looked like. He would make fun of me for also being skinny and short. As I became interested in music and began to play guitar and sing, he would tell me that my voice sounded like a dying cat and to give up. From these types of experiences, and many from my early childhood, it was easy to follow everyone’s example and esteem myself to be of lower value. Mirrors held disgusting cretins, voice recorders a nasal speech, and stories of my life, a pathetic kid. This low evaluation of self then bred real and true hatred that came with actions from myself against myself. As I began to labor and change my life, it was clear that where I was going was hindered by how well I thought I could travel. I began to alter how I saw myself. No longer was all my differences an obvious sign of how I was lesser, perhaps it was a sign of how much better I was. I imagined great dreams of a better life with a better career and an education. It was clear that this dirty little farmboy I hated couldn’t do it, so I decided to see myself as much better. As it turns out, my response to this dilemma is not irregular. I then spent a good few years thinking I was better than everyone else. The thoughts of how wretched I was would still pass my mind, but I would just respond by doubling down in pride. This pride became worse as it led me to be harsh to people, missing out on insights I didn’t think I needed, and even putting people down. I realized that I had gone too far. I began to fight back. I spent a few months not even saying words like “I” or “me” so I would lose this overextended sense of self. I began to be more honest with myself and ask for feedback from the people around me. It was clear that there was a big difference between how I was and how I thought I was, and their insights helped build a bridge. So, what have I done since then? Did I go back to the self-hatred since I am open about my failings? Did I go back to pride because I think I play such an important role in changing the world?

I have found that in an estimation of one’s value, one must remember what value is. Value is a mind-dependent phenomenon of consciousness rank ordering particular entities toward its aims. So then, how well do you fulfill your aims? Should you change your aims? Can you change how you fulfill them? These are great questions to ask, but what you can’t do is say there is some metric that floats through the universe that you are trying to meet. Even if you are religious, all you could say is that your effectual value came from how well you met your deity’s expectations. If the value is mind-dependent, then I can just say it is whatever I want right? Wrong. If you did it like that, you would be changing the aim of your life based on what aim was easiest rather than what aim was most desirable to you for its own sake. We then must leave the aim alone in terms of this evaluation. Then how do we gauge our efforts to bring our aim about? Now that we have this much better view, we can answer this. We must be honest with ourselves. Runaway abasement or arrogance needs to lose track of reality in order to operate. No doubt that at least in some way, you are reaching your aims. It is also a fact of failure and human nature that you have missed opportunities as well. You are then neither simply perfect nor irredeemable. You are instead looking at an inductive case of how exactly you act on your Esse Maxim. The answer of how well it is going between 1-99% is not something I can answer. It is for your reflection and honesty. This honesty will prompt guilt to change and honor that you are on course. The answer then to the age-old question of a given person’s merit? An honesty and awareness of one’s state in bringing about those things that one will. 

I have a friend who is very open about his abilities and successes. Many of my other friends will talk badly about this person when they aren’t around. They find him prideful and boastful. I watched him carefully as a case study to see what was going on. I found that while he was open about all the great things he had done, it was not without purpose. He was showing people an example of what could be done. If you talked with him one-on-one, you would find that he would try to help you realize what you had done up until then and try to figure out how to help you. His objective was never to let me know he was great so I was lesser, but rather that we were great. This built a sense of camaraderie. It also allowed all the people he touched to follow what he offered. This method also allowed him to be clearly seen as a specialist who had something to offer. I am now open about what I can do. I have decided I would rather have people know they could call on me to help them than I would prefer them to think I was humble. Some have found this as pride, but others knew who to reach out to when they had certain questions. Being open about what I could not do also opened me up for support and direction. By removing my sensitivity to my value, I was able to maximize it. 

To protect myself as a young person, I took the lazy position of assuming I was terrible. When I was older, to help myself achieve the near-impossible, I assumed I was great. Both served me well and taught me much. However, where I go, they cannot come. You may teeter between these two extremes or at best find yourself in a mediocre middle. You will always wonder why everyone is such a fool, or wonder why you are. Perhaps you say no one is a fool or everyone is, but then you will find a case to prove you wrong. Instead, I ask us to lose this question altogether. Move it from some abstract idea of whether or not you align with some metric you can’t find, and instead ask how well you act on what you believe. Lying to yourself here won’t do you any favors. Once you have gauged the trajectory of your life, then I recommend you plan course corrections, and forget about the rest. In the meantime, I ask you not to hate yourself or others. You simply don’t have the facts to do that. 

I have a vision in mind that drives me between agony and ecstasy with enthusiasm no matter the obstacle. This vision is one of you. I want to do what I can to make your life more engaged and deliberate, apply meaning to suffering, and give a basis for your thinking. I want to help you make your life into all it can be. I want to support you in realizing magnanimity and maximizing your humanity. While what is good can be messy, I want your life to at least be the most it can be. This is a large objective. It will do much for many people for a long time. I struggle back and forth between whether or not I am “good” enough for this. Some days the thought pops in that I am a fool and a weakling. Other days I have this sense that I was chosen and am special. I take what those thoughts can offer, but then I look at the goal at hand. I sincerely think that what I have to offer can reach that goal. This may be a big claim that has its pride, but when the time comes for you to need something, you will remember I purported to offer it. Like me, you will bounce back and forth between being unworthy of something or something being worthy of you. My point is that as far as the process of existing deliberately goes, you are exactly worthy enough for that.